Questioning.

We went to Robben Island today.  I feel the need to write more on this, but my time is limited and I'm distracted with other thoughts at the moment.

I'm finding it incredibly interesting how much of my feeling safe and comfortable here is knowing I have a connection to back home.  I have internet right now at Marita's, but for some reason her computer will not connect.  Things work differently here, web access is slightly unpredictable.  There's talk that we may not have internet at the Malleson Road house (where I'll be living in a week) for a month or so.  I can only imagine if I'm feeling this way about it how the other students will feel.  Should be a challenge.

I've become so accustomed to being able to communicate through the internet that I find myself depending on it for my sanity.  My anxiety level (okay, first time in foreign country besides Canada, but STILL) was so high when I first got here simply because I didn't feel I could reach my family and friends back home.  Just a few decades ago, people managed just fine without the internet.  Seriously.  What a reality check.

I could not believe the intensity of how ungrounded I felt without it just for a few short days.  And thinking about not having it at the house is making my stomach tight.  But IT'S OKAY!  I can take a short walk down the street to Main Road, find a coffee shop, and hit the web!  I can Skype for class the first month by just staying at Marita's on Tuesdays.  It's simply a matter of reverting back and accepting.  Not the end of the world by any means.

And to think, there's so many people here that don't have computers let alone internet access at home.  A shift in perception brings me to question the things I have placed value on in my life.  Privilege becomes so much more apparent when poverty and oppression is unavoidable every day.  But what do I do now? Train myself to rely less on the internet?  I have this problem that when I have new information or feel like I've gained this huge shift in perception I feel like I have to do something about it.  Maybe it's just a matter of acknowledging this new awareness and sitting with it.  Not doing, just sitting.

But what would it be like to live more simply?

What if one day, the internet disappeared?  We wouldn't all die.  We'd live, and adapt.  Because we had no other option.  We live, that's what counts.  Right?