Penguins!

There are no words for how adorable these little creatures are.  I vowed to return before I even left the site of their habit.  Couldn't get enough.

They mate for life.

And in front of strangers apparently.  I thought I was watching National Geographic!

But they snuggle, waddle, and make these fun noises.  Watching them lay down is like watching a kid do a belly flop into a pool.  They swim - watched one trying desperately to get out of the water but the waves kept pushing him down.  Cheers erupted when he finally made it.

I find so much joy in watching animals and viewing the beautiful landscapes of this country.  It has suffered through so much, and continues to suffer, and yet the mountains have stood tall against it all.  The sea kisses the mountains along with the toes of those who pass by afoot.

I'm saddened by the segregation, the economic apartheid that still exists here.  Only certain groups of people can afford to even dream of living amongst these beautiful landscapes.  And yet even from the distance of the many townships, the mountains still remain a sight to be seen and a symbol of strength through trial.


Thank you little penguins, for reminding me of the importance of love.

now now.

A month ago today I left the United States on a journey across the Atlantic.

It's been like a dream so far, a vacation of sight seeing, meeting, and learning.  I've changed in ways I do not yet recognize.  A quarter of my time here has already passed.  It seems like forever ago that I departed snow on the ground and was welcomed here with a bear hug.  And yet the time  has gone so quickly.

Time is an interesting concept.  That silly expression, where does the time go? means more than just commentary on time's speed.  I wonder what the point is in measuring time.  After all, we all grow up, live, love, and move into the universe at our life's end.  So what's the meaning of time?  Is it so we can quantify our lives somehow, love stronger when longer in time?  You can fall in love in an instant, die in a moment.

Time is deception.  The most important is to live NOW, not for tomorrow or yesterday.  But each moment passing as it passes, like a cloud slowly sliding by us, encircling in air, wind, and water.

I breathe now.  Gusts of wind push my hair in different directions, tickling my upper back, below my ear, my neck.  The awning outside the window of this cafe flutters sunlight on the sill.  There's a green butterfly painted on the wall, tribal marks on its wings.  My mouth tastes of vanilla latte.

just now, now now.

Now is won backwards.  Does that mean something?
 

a door.

Lots of new posts on the student blog, check 'em out.

If you look back at some of the earlier entries, Marita has posted a list of student internship sites.  This week we've been going around to all 18 or so of them and it's been quite fascinating.  I look forward to learning from and absorbing the students' experiences.  Talk about networking.

I skype my first class tonight in 40 minutes.  Wish me luck, lets hope this works.

For now, I continue to process the shifts each and every day.  I have to remind myself that I still have so much time here to continue the growth.

A door has been opened, and it will not be closed.

...by this day.

We arrived at the National Baptist Church in Guguletu this morning, a little after 10am.  Pull up in our fancy tour bus, driving by shackles of poverty that jar me to the core.  There are no words.

The people of the church welcome us with open arms, clearing space for us in the front of the church that’s packed full of people, mostly women.  They’re all well dressed and presentable, ready to be spirited.  The church is in full, passionate song as soon as we arrive.  A woman beats a padded drum that fits on her hand like a glove.  The spirit radiates like nothing I’ve ever experience before.

The ceremony is in another language yet I understand almost every word.  We all speak human, human emotion.  I cried through almost the whole thing.  Cleansing, dripping tears that I couldn’t keep up with wiping away.  They just fell to my lips where I tasted their sweetness.  A cleanse I wasn’t expecting, but desperately recognize now that I needed.  I am forever changed by this day.

The Reverend welcomed us with open arms.  The church encouraged us to dance and sing with them, as this was now our home.  Because a house without guests is not a home.  Did they see my lack of pigmentation?  A woman spoke to the church and said it was a privilege to have us with them, to be able to share with us their spirit.  It’s a privilege for me, please know.

I danced.  A woman next to me leans in and says, “Would you like to pray with us?”.  This did not strike me as a religious question - it spoke to my soul, asking if it would like to speak.  The church raised their prayers passionately out loud.  There was no music, no song, but the song of the voices of hope.  Of faith.  Of unwavering belief.  

I closed my eyes to let the sounds fill my body, full of vibration.  And there I was, in this moment, full of radiating life.  

We “toured” the townships after lunch at Vernon’s childhood home.  His mother gave each and every one of us hugs of welcome.  I regret not speaking to her more but cherish the discussion I had with students over delicious food.

I sit in our tour bus, literally looking down upon the children who play by the side of the road and wave to us like we’re celebrities.  I felt immensely uncomfortable riding on the bus like a tourist, come to see how the poor people live.  Yet all I could do was accept that discomfort, give it a hug, and acknowledge that this is just how I’m seeing it for now.  

Talking about and confronting race is uncomfortable.  That’s why so many of us in the states (at least I do) try our best to move off the discussion.  I’ve been trained that when I feel uncomfortable, or let alone guilty, to move away from that feeling any way that I can.  Walk away, plug my ears, distract, etc.  Close my eyes.  It’s so easy to be blind to the struggles when you’re privileged enough to be able to choose where you go and what you hear.  Maybe this is what we need as a society, to be thrown into a place where the discomfort is unavoidable.  Because then the fear and discomfort is accepted after time and inner movement takes place.  Relationships are built, discussions across colors had.

I must acknowledge that I feel incredible discomfort even in writing this.  Because I worry that someone will read it and be offended or upset with what I say.  And this is exactly the reason for the silence of race we so often experience.  It’s all uncomfortable, there’s no solution, so why bother?  Because we wont figure any of it out unless we speak of it.  And yet what I do is welcome criticism, welcome disagreement, simply to jump start the conversation.  I’m so tired of race and racism being a silent, avoidable issue.  I speak softly, and open my ears to those whose voices are just beginning to rise above a whisper.  To anyone who’s been shouting for years, I will hear you now.

I cry now as my fingers hit the letters.  As much as I’d like to say it’s not out of guilt, some of it is.  In time I will move towards acceptance of my privileges and responsibility, but for now the guilt is here just like I’ve been trained to feel when I see those less fortunate.  

I question how people, how families, how children thrive in communities that fail to provide the basic human rights and dignities due to each and every one of us born to this universe.  In Khayelitsha, the place I will be spending the next few months of my work here, there are around 700,000 people that live in a designated black township.  The following is some info provided by my field supervisor, Mandla Majola at a short talk he gave for us today.  We visited the Treatment Action Campaign where he’s spent many years and still remains on the board of directors.  Today, he heads up the Social Justice Campaign, or SJC.

It all began when forced removals from District Six took people from Cape Town as far as possible outside the city as an attempt to keep them from city employment.  The result is a 40 to 60 percent unemployment rate.    

Roughly 10 families share one toilet.  Women are often raped on their way to the toilet at night.  Homes are robbed as their occupants leave their homes to relieve themselves at the group toilet. 

Human dignity is stripped as people are forced to use the fields as their toilets.  What’s the use of “freedom” when there’s no dignity?

There are 2 reported rapes a day in Khayelitsha.  Emphasis on reported, as there are likely more that go silenced.  Areas of the states are likely similar by comparison for rapes as the rates of underreporting continue to be difficult to calculate.  

Two children die a day due to the lack of an adequate, safe water supply.

Screw my week long stomach bug and lack of internet, I live in a beautiful house surrounded by luxuries.  

Experiencing a massive shift in perception.  Feet, ground, where are you?

One foot in front of the other...

The days have flown by.  Some of this week has been a struggle as orientation has consumed the days and evenings in full.  I try to find minutes to breathe and regroup yet feel like I'm failing miserably.  Each and every thing we do together, all 25+ UCONN folk, is fabulous in and of itself.  Combined, it feels a bit overwhelming due to the lack of processing time.  There's so much learning, so much growth, that I already feel dramatically changed in ways I cannot yet recognize.  I sense if I came home today others would see it before I would.  And it's only been 3 weeks.  I haven't even begun field placement yet.  Life changed.

One of the things I struggle most with as the busy days continue is how my complaints (no time to myself, no internet, missing family) are so minute, so selfish-like, compared to folks who cannot put food on the table.  Compared to folks who were enslaved, compared to women who are trafficked, compared to children forced to beg tourists for their parents waiting around the corner.  Yet these thoughts/emotions are so habitual for me, no matter how selfish and victim-ish, that I struggle to throw them away.

I guess I've just always been someone who drains energy when around lots of people all day and recharges with quiet alone time.  Not a bad thing, just a challenge with weeks like this.

Feel selfish even writing this, as this experience is the experience of a lifetime.  But I am human, and the habits are slowly shifting.  And I'd be lying if I wrote differently.

For now, I smile at the mountain.  Take a deep breath, and chat with a student.  All 23 of them are remarkably brilliant, after all.  I look forward to learning from each and every one of them.

Here's our nutty schedule, including what we did this past week.  We're halfway through, about to head to Loch Road house for a Braai (in the US, we call these BBQs).  The students are communally in charge of this one, I look forward to what they come up with.

The breeze sounds out the window, and I feel reminded of why I'm here.
 

University of Connecticut

Cape Town Study Abroad 2011

Orientation Programme

Saturday                    15 January

1:00pm                        Airport  Pick up

1:45pm                        Depart for Loch Rd. Rondebosch and  Malleson Rd. Mowbray

2:15pm                        Arrival and room assignment

3:30pm                        Meeting to go over House Protocols

4:00pm                        Malleson Rd. Pick-up

4:15pm                        Depart Loch Rd. to explore the Rondebosch area

5:30pm                        Return to Loch Rd  and Malleson

Joint Pizza Dinner

7:00pm                        Malleson Rd. Students Return

Sunday                       16 January

9:15am                        Pick up Malleson Rd Students

9:30am                        Official Welcome to Cape Town at Loch Rd.                       

10:30am                      Depart for Rondebosch – Shopping for necessities, ATM’s, etc

12:00noon                   Group Lunch at Nando’s

2:00pm                        Return to Loch Rd.

3:15pm                        Depart for Belville

4:00pm                        Welcome Braai at Vernon and Esme’s

8:00pm                        Depart for Loch Rd

Monday                     17 January

9:15am                        Pick up Malleson Students

9:30am                        Depart Loch Rd. for University of Cape Town

10:00am                      Orientation and Safety and Security Briefing by the International   Academic Programs Office

12:30pm                    Depart for Rondebosch

12:45pm                    Individual lunch

2:00pm                      Depart for downtown

2:30am                      Signal Hill drive

3:45pm                      Return to Malleson and Loch Rd.

7:00pm                      Pick up Malleson Rd Students

7:30pm                      Leave for Wetton

8:00pm                      Dinner at Swingers Jazz club

Tuesday                    18 January

9:00am                       Pick up Malleson Students

9:30am                       Depart for down town

10:00am                     Tour of District Six Museum (Tour Guide Mr. Joe Schaffers)

12:00pm                      Lunch at Charly’s

1:30pm                        Cape Town Walk About (Ben, Vernon, Jessica and Parks)

3:45pm                        Return to Loch Rd

5:00pm                        Security Briefing (Warrant Officer Marilyn Jones)

6:00pm                        Return Malleson Rd Students

Evening                       FREE

Wednesday               19 January  

7:00am                        Pick up Malleson Rd Students

7:15am                        Depart for the Waterfront

9:00am                        Leave for tour of Robben Island

12:30pm                      Individual lunch and afternoon at Waterfront

3:30pm                        Return to Loch Rd.and Malleson

7:00pm                        Pick up Malleson Rd students

7:15pm                        Leave for down town Cape Town

7:30pm                        Dinner at Addis Ethiopian Restaurant

10:00pm                      Return to Loch and Malleson Rds

Thursday                   20 January

9:00am                        Pick up Malleson students

9:30am                        Depart Loch Rd. for down town

10:00am                      Tour of the Slave Lodge (Tour Guide: Lucy Campbell)

12:30pm                      Individual lunch on St. Georges Mall

2:00pm                        Depart for West Lake

3:00pm                        Briefing by the American Consulate

4:30pm                        Return to Loch Rd.

7:00pm                        Pick up Malleson Rd students

7:15pm                        Depart for Wetton

7:30pm                        Dinner at Blue Chip

10:30pm                      Return to Loch Rd

Friday                        21 January

Public Transport exercise

7:00pm                       Communal Dinner @ Loch Rd

Saturday                   22 January

9:45am                       Pick up Malleson Rd students

10:00am                     Leave for Durbanville

11:00am                     Visit Altyd Gedacht Wine Estate

12:30pm                     Leave for Stellenbosch

1:00pm                       Lunch at Moyo’s  African Cuisine at Spier Wine Estate

3:30pm                       Depart for Loch Rd

Evening                     FREE (Optional activity)

Sunday                      23 January

9:30am                       Pick up Malleson  Rd students

9:45am                       Depart Loch Rd. for Gugulethu

10:10am                     Township Faith Experience (Sivuyile Baptist Church) ( Rev. Mtini)

12:30pm                     Group Lunch in Bridgetown

2:00pm                       Depart on Township Tour (Vernon/Mandla Majola)

4:00pm                       Return to Loch and Malleson Rds.

Monday                      24 January

8:00am                        Malleson Rd Pick-up

8:30am                        Depart Loch Rd. on visit to internship sites

Tuesday                     25 January

8:00am                        Malleson Rd Pick-up

8:30am                        Depart Loch Rd. on visit to internship sites

Wednesday               26 January

8:00am                        Malleson Rd Pick-up

8:30am                        Depart Loch Rd on internship visits

Evening                        Start of Marita’s class

Thursday                   27 January - Start of Vernon and Vincent’s classes

Saturday                    29 January

9:00am                        Malleson Rd. Pick up           

9:15am                        Depart for Loch Rd. for trip around the Peninsula

10:00am                      Stop at Camps Bay

10:30am                      Depart for Hout Bay

11:00am                      Hout Bay Walkabout (Craft Market)

11:45am                      Depart for Cape Point

12:45pm                      Lunch at Cape Point

2:00pm                        Exploring Cape Point

3:15pm                        Leave Cape Point for Boulders Beach

4:00pm                        Visit the Penguin Colony

5:15pm                        Return to Loch Rd.           

Sunday                      30 January - Kirstenbosch Gardens: Concert in the park

Monday                     31 January - Start Internships            

There's always room for one more.

So I have to admit it's quite strange to see an abundance of snow photographs from home while I sit here tired from days in the sun.  There's a breeze outside my window that reminds me it's open.  As much as I don't want to sound like I'm rubbing it in, it's difficult to imagine what winter feels like when I'm thousands of miles away from it.  Was a quick transition to summer.  Maybe I still feel like I'm on vacation?

The students arrive on Saturday so this week's been full of last minute preparation.  I find it ironic that I was pummeled with a snow storm right before my own departure as well.  It's like a right of passage into Cape Town.  I send good travel vibes to those coming our way.

This week has been full of revelations as I continue to expand my social network here and get acquainted.  But I must first of all comment on my mini-bus taxi experience.  Okay, not such a big deal.  But I will call myself out on the fact that my first few days here I was a bit scared.  Yesterday, I was as ready as I'd ever be.  Didn't phase me nearly as much as the degree to which I was warned it would.  There's lots of honking and yelling to people on the sidewalks to potential taxi riders, but mainly it's a business.  The more people who ride in the taxis, the more money the driver makes.  Hence the snuggling with strangers that occurs almost every time you ride one.  I'll quote Greta here, "There's always room for one more".  I've never seen so many people in one vehicle at a time.  The driver's partner in crime who tries to get people to ride leave himself such little room that he's awkwardly crouching, neck/head cranked against the ceiling of the mini-bus.  Four or five to seats that sit 3.  But in a way, it's all fine.  Everyone's just riding for the same purpose, to get to their destination.  No one's gonna get a way with robbing you, there's no room to move to do so and there's too many people on the bus that would object.  People take care of each other here in Cape Town.

Just got me thinking about how much more open I feel here than in the States.  I will be the first to admit that I wouldn't dare hop on a city bus in CT.  They're too sketchy.  Yet here, many white South Africans, according to word of mouth, say the same about the mini-bus taxis.  But I find it a fascinating part of the local culture that I just wouldn't get from staying in my neat little bubble of personal car travel.  I find myself with mixed feelings about the rental car I'll have in a few weeks for the rest of my time here.  It's a comfort zone that I'm used to at home that part of me wants to step out of.  

I'm tired of the bubble.  My eyes are opened, still cautious, but infinitely less afraid.  I find myself wondering what's coming my way here yet remember it's all an open runway.  I'll turn when I chose but for now I'm just standing there, arms open, eyes above, feeling the wind almost force me forward.  Turning back is difficult when the universe so badly wishes you to walk ahead.  

Bring it on.

Hope?

Cape of Good Hope.

Some clouds - thought: hope is believing in what we cannot see.  We hoped for the clouds to slide away, and for brief moments they did.

It's a very remarkable feeling, being in the clouds.  Feeling the mist.  Seeing/feeling them move around me and the mountain - and yet there we were, me and the mountain, standing still and firm as the clouds slid by.  Even as the clouds came and went, we remained firm in our stance.

This is what we do in life.  Have good, clear days and bad, foggy ones.  Some days you can see for miles and others you can barely see the next step in front of you.  Today I saw about 10 feet.

But maybe that's why they call it the Cape of Good Hope.  Because we hope for the things we cannot see. Sometimes the clouds fog our forward vision.  Sometimes we just have to hope the path will become visible when nature decides to reveal.

Still questioning.

We become so accustomed to our privileges that they become expectations.

And when these expectations aren't met we get angry at the world for not meeting them.

One day we, or our children, or our children's children, are going to have to give up some of what we/they have.

What then?

Questioning.

We went to Robben Island today.  I feel the need to write more on this, but my time is limited and I'm distracted with other thoughts at the moment.

I'm finding it incredibly interesting how much of my feeling safe and comfortable here is knowing I have a connection to back home.  I have internet right now at Marita's, but for some reason her computer will not connect.  Things work differently here, web access is slightly unpredictable.  There's talk that we may not have internet at the Malleson Road house (where I'll be living in a week) for a month or so.  I can only imagine if I'm feeling this way about it how the other students will feel.  Should be a challenge.

I've become so accustomed to being able to communicate through the internet that I find myself depending on it for my sanity.  My anxiety level (okay, first time in foreign country besides Canada, but STILL) was so high when I first got here simply because I didn't feel I could reach my family and friends back home.  Just a few decades ago, people managed just fine without the internet.  Seriously.  What a reality check.

I could not believe the intensity of how ungrounded I felt without it just for a few short days.  And thinking about not having it at the house is making my stomach tight.  But IT'S OKAY!  I can take a short walk down the street to Main Road, find a coffee shop, and hit the web!  I can Skype for class the first month by just staying at Marita's on Tuesdays.  It's simply a matter of reverting back and accepting.  Not the end of the world by any means.

And to think, there's so many people here that don't have computers let alone internet access at home.  A shift in perception brings me to question the things I have placed value on in my life.  Privilege becomes so much more apparent when poverty and oppression is unavoidable every day.  But what do I do now? Train myself to rely less on the internet?  I have this problem that when I have new information or feel like I've gained this huge shift in perception I feel like I have to do something about it.  Maybe it's just a matter of acknowledging this new awareness and sitting with it.  Not doing, just sitting.

But what would it be like to live more simply?

What if one day, the internet disappeared?  We wouldn't all die.  We'd live, and adapt.  Because we had no other option.  We live, that's what counts.  Right?

Dancing.

I danced on Table Mountain today.

One of the most amazing wonders of the world.  Felt closer to the universe, regardless of how little I am in the world.  There's a certain power that comes from standing in the sky.  An insight to the inside of the self.  The little things seem to mean less when the view is so much bigger.  When seen from far away, so so small.

We took the cable cars up today which requires driving partway up the mountain and then hopping in a cable car that brings you right to the top of the mountain.  You can actually walk the entire length of the mountain on the top - there's paths of rock amidst few flowers but many plants.  We made it about halfway across but then came back to head back down in the cable cars before the lines got too long.  Lots of folks enjoying the fabulous view.

I will hike the mountain by foot in the weeks to come.  I sense there will be lots of hiking these next few months, just wonder who my hiking buddy will be.

Incredibly sunburned.  Went to Muizenberg Beach today to walk around.

Laid in the sand for only an hour, with sunblock on (apparently NOT strong enough) and ended the day with painted red lines of the sun's fierceness on my skin. The southern sun is a surprise when it first hits northern skin - very white skin in particular.  Advice to anyone who comes:  WEAR SUNSCREEN.  EVERY DAY.  It is officially a part of my daily regimen.

Will be sleeping on my back, straight as a plank.  Just hope I do not wake myself up by rolling over.

Good news is there's a few aloe plants lying around.  We picked a big piece today, right from the root, took it home - at first it was green slime being released.  Left it for a few hours, then it was red, like blood.  Feeling guilty for making a piece of the earth bleed.  But like people, when we make them bleed, they rebirth and recover.  I'll check on this nice little plant in a few days to see how she's doing.

Feeling peace.

Sunshine and...sunburn.

Ooops.  Feeling a little toasted at the moment, and by toasted I mean by the sun.  I even have a flip-flop sun burn.  What was that famous song/speech of graduation year?  The sunscreen song?  Sure now I remember.

There's a little dog barking outside Marita's flat that I have not yet met.  I find myself desperately missing dogs, there just haven't been many that've crossed my path the past few days.

BUT I did see my very first South African butterfly today.  Touching moment.

Took some amazing pictures today, went to Bo-Kaap and walked around Cape Town all day.  (Hence the sunburn.)  Visited various African markets where the people selling items all repeat various forms of "Special price for you!" or "Closing special!".  And you know I'm not the only one getting the "special" price but they like to make me feel special.  Hey give me a deal, maybe I'll buy something.  Maybe I won't.

Marita, Angelina, and I are all headed out in a moment to spend the evening listening to jazz and drinking some South African red wine.  Loving this not working thing.  Too bad it won't last forever!

Oh and I promise pictures will come.  The internet here is a bit slower than at home so uploading pics takes a good chunk of time.  

Shifts...

Okay, so change of plans.  It rained until about 6pm here today, so we decided to do something inside.  We went to see a South African movie today, Spud, and yes, I know, it's a potato.  Interesting film, had nothing to do with the vegetable.  Great to see a film produced here, even if it was mostly about white people.

I found myself surprised by the fact that the majority of the movies playing were American.  I didn't come to South Africa to see an American movie!  All of the music played around here is what we hear in the US.  That makes me sad in a way, it's like the US has conquered the world.  And I have to ask, what makes us so great?

Tonight was my first experience salsa dancing.  I have officially decided that I'm on a mission to learn the style before I leave here.  Two hours of watching people salsa was enough inspiration; I must do it.  Oh, and heading out with locals was incredibly - I've been here three days and I'm already making fast friends.

Time for sleep, up early to head into "town" (Cape Town center) to catch some festival activity.  More soon.  

Arrival

Here I am, in one of the most beautiful places in the world.

There's a palm tree outside my window.  Devil's Peak and Table Mountain are the distance.  We get the full view of Table Mountain with a little lean over the balcony.  Devil's peak has it's name because if you look with your imagination, you see the face of the devil.

Everywhere you go in Cape Town, you're in the shadow of the mountains.  In a few weeks I'll be moving to the house I'll be living at for the rest of my time here.  For now, I stay with Marita, house director/professor/friend/inspiration.

The first few days are almost like getting my feet swept up from under me.  Not bad, just a process.  There's so much of the US here:  Subway, KFC, shopping, much more.  Somehow these things make me feel home, even though the last thing I want to do is eat or shop at them!

Being half a world away doesn't feel so far, maybe because we have planes that pick us up and land us in another country with just a few hours of air time in between.  (Okay, maybe more than a few - the plane ride was FOREVER).  I sense my time here will fly by.

We're off to Kirstenbosch Gardens today for the afternoon and hopefully a concert there this evening.

The Universe is in full force here.  I cannot help but feel I'm where I'm supposed to be, right at this moment in time.